Tracy Tutor Shares How to Sell Yourself

The star of “Million Dollar Listing” explains her full-circle journey and how we can get better at selling ourselves.

Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles (MDLLA) powerhouse broker Tracy Tutor is a boss who gets the deal done, but it’s the human being we relate to and who makes us want to have a drink with her when deals go awry, when she’s trying to help a friend, when her male costars get into fruitless pissing contests, when she needs a pep-talk, or when she’s juggling a hugely successful career while raising her two teens. And the title of her book Fear Is Just a Four-Letter Word: How to Develop the Unstoppable Confidence to Own Any Room makes us want to ask her how we can get better at selling ourselves, so we did.

Owning a room comes easily to Tutor because she knows all the world’s a stage — getting into real estate was “a little bit of an accident” after she studied theater at the University of Southern California. “It’s kind of a cliché, but all failed actors become real estate agents,” she tells Shondaland. “Every time you walk into a room, you are on an audition. If you’ve failed enough times in Hollywood, then you figure out how to walk into a room in real estate and own that.”

Weary of her table-waiting/auditioning/human-resources grind at 24, she decided it was time to make money — it was just a matter of how and, more importantly, how much. Her actor friend Sasha Alexander brainstormed that they get into real estate, and Tutor went for it. “I walked into the first office I felt like I could fit into, sat down with the manager, and said, ‘I’m brand-new to this, and I don’t know what I’m doing, but I need to make $90K a year to survive.’ He said, ‘Most real estate agents in their first two years make $30K,’ and I was like, ‘Well, that just doesn’t work for me,’ and he said, ‘You’re hired.’ He probably appreciated my level of confidence. Of course, the next two years I made 30K a year, but I started selling in the higher end around year five,” she says.

Looking back, it’s clear to Tutor how every gig she had led up to where she is today. “Everyone should understand what it’s like to be in the service industry because it gives you grit,” she explains. “It teaches you how to connect with people and command respect. I never thought, or planned, or wanted to be in real estate, but I always wanted a job. I worked at a men’s clothing store when I was 15 and a half selling men’s suits. If I sold a certain number of men’s suits, I’d get some sort of commission bonus. I lived for that! It’s a trip! It all aligns to this full-circle moment, selling real estate on a TV show.”

MDLLA came knocking after a chance on-camera showing with her colleague and friend Josh Altman, a series regular since the beginning. “Our chemistry together was great, and I think they saw that. After we shot and my client liked the property, they asked if I’d be interested in shooting the next couple of scenes. I just thought it was a one-off, then Josh called me the day of and asked if I had anyone for another property he was shooting for the show. I was like, ‘Can you give me a little more notice?’ I was wearing jeans and had to run to Intermix and pull together an outfit!”

It wasn’t long before Tutor was asked to be a series regular, but first she had to hash out the details with her then-husband, who seemed uneasy with her inevitable trajectory. “I really struggled, but I knew [instinctively] that [the show] was the right move for me at this point in my career because I’d been working my ass off in this business, and I lost so many,” she says.

By “many,” Tutor means deals. Though real estate seems to be an industry dominated by women, it’s not immune to the ingrained sexism of other industries. “I could not process why I wasn’t having that same success as some of my male counterparts. Is it because I’m a mother? Is it because they think I grew up with money [her father is L.A. construction giant Ron Tutor] and don’t have a work ethic? What the fuck?!” she says. “I think I’ve always struggled with how people perceive me versus what my truth is. I’ve been working since I was 16 years old, and I still have to work three times harder to get that same opportunity. I know it’s because of how I look, because I am a female, because I am a mother of two, and because there is an entitlement that is perceived that I don’t have to work, and therefore I must not have the same desire and grind that someone like Josh Altman has.”

She’s also suffered surprising scrutiny for some of the fierce looks she serves on the show and resents the double standard. “‘If you want to be a boss, you better put on a suit. Don’t be too feminine; be serious; lack humor; don’t make jokes, sit, and talk; and don’t ask questions — wait until you’re spoken to and then respond.’ Fuck that!” says Tutor. “I want to change the narrative and send the message that not only am I smart, very good at my job, a fierce negotiator on behalf of my clients, and very ethical, I’m also sexy, funny, and I curse. Why can’t I encompass all of those things?” Her way of rewriting the rules about these misconceptions is refusing to play the game.

Her book — which reads like a conversation with her — shares some valuable tips about how to read any room we walk into and how we can get better at selling ourselves for whatever reason we need to.

Here are a few tips she shared with us

Get to know your strengths and weaknesses

In helping her interns figure out how to develop business relationships, Tutor encourages them to get to know themselves first. “What are your five strongest attributes, and what are five things that you think you can improve on in your life or in your personality? Knowing your weaknesses and your strengths is a big thing when walking into a room. You can’t be perfect or flawless at everything — you have to be able to poke fun at the things that you’re not good at. It’s another great way to connect with people,” she says.

Raise your (metaphorical) hand

When it comes to selling your talents, Tutor says practice makes perfect: “You don’t just show up in a room, and put on the right outfit, and it happens. You’ve got to raise your hand in a business meeting, or ask a question in front of a hundred people in a class that makes you nervous. It starts there and becomes easier and easier. You begin to trust your own instincts a little bit more. We all have good instincts, but we push them down because we’re so uncomfortable with saying what we really think. You have to continually push yourself out of your comfort zone so that when you get that interview, or you get to be in a room full of incredibly powerful people networking, you have the ability to make a joke, feel comfortable, and step into your own skin,” she says.

Show up authentically

At the end of the day, we all just want to make a connection — no matter how “big” the person is, says Tutor. “You have to authentically be able to connect with people — that is the great equalizer. Not everybody’s going to like you all of the time, but if you can show that you’re vulnerable, show that you’re funny, show that you’re smart, show that you’re sexy, show that you’re completely authentic as a female, people are going to be drawn to that, and they’re going to want to connect with you. That’s how you begin to take the energy in the room and put it toward your life in a positive way. People want to be around people that they aspire to be like or want to be similar to,” she explains.

Find common ground

When dealing with people, common ground is the key to connection. “You have to get past the fear, dig a little bit deeper, and remind yourself that everybody’s just living on the planet together,” Tutor says, sharing what happened the first time she showed property to Steve Levitan, the co-creator of Modern Family. “I’m a fan! I’d been going through a divorce, and he was going through a divorce. We have similar taste in real estate, and he worked with an architect that I absolutely adore. We were able to talk about divorce, and a genuine connection was formed. I was able to push down my anxiety, and we have a relationship to this day because of it,” she says.

I Refuse to Feel Guilt for My Guilty Pleasures

READ ARTICLE

The invisible fence that divides highbrow and lowbrow is largely imposed by money, those we admire, and our own social conditioning.

Our List of Unexpected Summer Treats

From cheese ice cream to pre-burnt marshmallows to chips in a pickle, here’s a list of treats to add some fun into your summer.

Summer food is meant to be casual, comforting, refreshing, and, above all, it’s about having a good time. Though the season is coming to an end, we wanted to bring you some tasty items that will help you keep the summer party vibes. These products reinvent some of our longstanding summer faves to appease the curious eater. Let our roundup at least serve as the inspo you need to try something a little off the beaten menu.

And, hey — if a plane ticket to an exotic locale is out of the question, at least your palate and a sense of adventure can take you someplace you’ve never been.

---

1 - Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Ice Cream

Butter and cheese-flavored ice cream? Really? Van Leeuwen, the Brooklyn-based ice cream purveyor, has gone out on a limb to add an additional dose of comfort to one of our favorite comfort foods. This new, gluten-free ice cream flavor is an actual Kraft collab that crashed their site upon launch.

2 - Dunkaroos

The “epic frosting and cookie duo” Betty Crocker launched in 1994 just made a comeback. Snack packs of vanilla cookies and dippable vanilla frosting with rainbow sprinkles are now back on the shelves for your joyous, sugary consumption.

3 - Beyond The Original Orange Chicken from Panda Express

If you had a thing for orange chicken from Panda Express, but now find yourself a vegetarian, your dreams have come true. Some branches of the fast-casual restaurant are now selling a vegan version of the dish made with Beyond Meat. So, if a location that serves it is in proximity, you can indulge any time you see fit.

4 - Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows

We are currently in prime s’mores season, and those without a firepit seeking a shortcut to the burnt marshmallow flavor of summer can look no further. If you’re really feeling lazy, you can always try their S’mores Flavored Coated Marshmallows, which are basically chocolate-covered marshmallows with a sprinkle of graham cracker crust on top. Bonus: Your hair won’t smell like fire after eating them.

5 - Kellogg’s Peach Cobbler Pop-Tarts

Summer is peak peach season, meaning a good part of the country can only bite into a decent peach cobbler from May through September. To celebrate the season, Pop-Tarts is offering a new peach cobbler flavor, complete with a graham cracker-flavored crust and topping.

6 - Korean Hotdogs

According to Eater, one of the “most beloved street foods of Korea” has become this year’s hot summer food experience. Sometimes filled with cheese, sometimes containing a hot dog, Korean corn dogs are praised for the flavor of their batter (sometimes corn, sometimes rice, sometimes potato, always deep-fried) and toppings (sometimes cornflakes, sometimes ramen; many options). If you happen to live in New York or New Jersey, H Mart, the Korean supermarket made famous by the best-selling book Crying in H Mart, can ship frozen bags of these delights to your door.

7 - Trader Joe’s Popcorn in a Pickle and Chips in a Pickle

People are craving pickled or pickle-flavored anything and everything this year. Though pickles themselves are a year-round mainstay on burgers and every kind of sandwich, and in summer alongside lobster rolls, the introduction of Trader Joe’s Chips in a Pickle, or their pickle-flavored potato chips, will keep a little summer zing going even after your Labor Day cookout. Plus, Popcorn in a Pickle (yes, pickle-flavored popcorn) tastes like summer, no matter when it is.

Want to Dive Into a Subculture? Here’s How to Do It

Experts explain the benefits of niche communities and how to join one.

We crave connection. Whether online or in person, at work or at home, community brings meaning and value to our lives, and it greatly impacts our quality of life. Building community is not just an act of trust and respect; it’s an act of hope. We at Shondaland know the power of community, so we’re bringing you stories of unique people gathering together in meaningful ways out there — and ways to find or create your own community.

---

Want to go to a Game of Thrones event where everyone’s decked out in serious costumes? Or join a steampunk or Dungeons & Dragons group? Or maybe you’re a rabid Prince fan and want to connect with fans who are as devoted as yourself. This impulse makes sense — congregating with like-minded people who share your passions and obsessions is a stimulating and authentic way to connect quickly with others. Thanks to the internet, access to a seemingly endless array of niche communities lies at our fingertips in 2021, and this is a great thing.

The older we get, the harder it can be to make friends, yet the older you get, the more beneficial friendship is for you. According to a 2017 study, our friends can have a bigger impact on our health and well-being during the span of our lives than our family. A cross-sectional survey of almost 280,000 adults reports that “valuing friendships was related to better functioning, particularly among older adults, whereas valuing familial relationships exerted a static influence on health and well-being across the lifespan.” This is as compelling reason as any to seek out human connection, and shared interests can be a great way to start.

Kathy Caslin Mullen, a teacher from the Boston area, says she loves being a part of the niche groups she belongs to because it imbues her free time with purpose and camaraderie. “I’m usually so busy with kid stuff and husband and wife stuff, I can’t just hang around and do nothing,” she says. “The window to make friends is just so small. You have to kind of, like, hit on something that everybody likes and latch onto that. If we all share interests, that’s a good jumping-off point.”

An ardent Duran Duran fan since high school, Mullen connected with a bunch of kindred souls through her involvement in the band’s online fan community, which led to in-person interactions. She had a blast and solidified friendships when the connections went from online to offline. “I actually went to a show with people I had never met face-to-face before,” she says.

Some subculture or niche communities can be incredibly welcoming to newcomers — especially when driven by a sense of purpose. After Martin Richard, a Dorchester child from Mullen’s neighborhood, died in the Boston Marathon bombings, Mullen was eager to find a way to help the victim’s family. Mullen and her neighbors started a Facebook page to organize and train to run the Boston Marathon the following year. They began with local runs, graduated to 5Ks, and eventually ran the marathon. The group had so much fun together, they’re still going strong.

“Once you get in with a group of people doing the same thing for two or three hours, it’s almost like therapy,” says Mullen. “You talk about life, you talk about everything and anything, you get to know them, and they become almost like family,” she says. Mullen soon realized she loved using her newfound passion for running to raise money for charity, and her new friends led her to another niche group that does just that.

Connecting with those who have similar passions can be both personally and professionally productive. Michal Richardson, a writer, producer, and co-host of the Muppeturgy podcast, has been a stalwart member of the Muppet fan community for 20 years. “There wasn’t ever a time that the Muppets weren’t a part of my life to some degree or another,” Richardson says. “There’s something about who the Muppets are and how they relate to the world that makes sense to me.”

When in college, she was pleasantly surprised to stumble across fellow Muppet stans on Tough Pigs, an online Muppet-fan community. “I met people through the message board on that website,” she explains, adding that many of them remain her dear friends to this day, some 20 years later. “Once I found it, it was so exciting to know that it existed and there are people who feel the way that I do.”

“Even though there didn’t seem to be any kind of evolutionary advantage, we really are attracted to group rituals,” says Amanda Montell, author of Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism. (Montell adds that, once upon a time, the word “cult” didn’t carry the negative implications it does today.) Unity, and ritual — those things don’t have to necessarily do with God or the metaphysical at all. But they are profoundly human drives that have existed for thousands upon thousands of years. We look to groups to fill these needs. Whether that’s a boutique fitness studio like SoulCycle, or a celebrity stan group for Taylor Swift, it is serving that purpose-driven community ritual in people’s lives. With the help of the internet, there’s a cult for everyone. The drive to commune and seek support in large groups, they’re profoundly human.”

Interested in connecting with like minds? Here’s how to start.

Get specific

Even subcultures and niche groups can have their own niche groups within them, so, when looking for a community to join, consider drilling down to your specific area or subset of interests and root around for what and who is there. Take Mullen’s case, for example: Marathon running is such a broad category, there are zillions of running groups out there to weed through. Same with local marathon runners. But her group of marathon runners in the Boston area who run for charity is more specific — and that’s where she met her people. Before initiating any kind of in-person meet-up, do your homework. Google is your friend.

Dip a toe in the water before jumping in all the way

Montell recommends checking out a wide variety of groups before going in deep and advises against drinking the Kool-Aid until you’ve had a few sips. Some online communities can turn out to be misleading or harbor some toxic dynamics, so Montell says it helps to tread lightly. In other words, be aware of any pressure to constantly be “on” or constantly participate. “Anything legitimate will allow you to participate casually,” Montell says. “You should be able to tap out and back into your real world at the end of the day.” She also advises keeping an eye on how people interact. “Is there language that uplifts everyone on the inside and lambasts everyone on the outside? That makes you feel like you have this elitist, exclusive knowledge that other people don’t? And everybody who is not a part of this group is not only stupid but morally inferior? Those are some linguistic red flags to look for,” she says.

Diversify your connections

When it comes to making stan connections online, Montell advises casting a wide net. “I think it’s key to diversify your social portfolio as much as you can rather than fully investing,” she says. “It’s tempting to turn to one guru — whether it’s an influencer or someone you know in real life — who speaks with a lot of confidence and authority and talks about all of the confounding questions that we have in our culture. As internet-using humans in 2021, we confront so much information day to day about who to be, how to dress, where to go, what to do, and who to vote for. It can be really tempting just to put all your eggs in one basket and defer to one celebrity or person who is waxing authoritative.”

The Kawaii Crew

Barcroft Media

Don’t be afraid to ask questions

Mullen says she asked specific questions or for recommendations to start conversations in her groups. “People come back with their answers and, over time, you kind of get to know them,” she says.

Use boundaries when you need to

Montell says, with new online friendships, it helps to be aware of your boundaries and notice any conversation that might leave you feeling uncomfortable. “I sometimes say a toxic relationship is just a cult of one. The same boundaries that you would apply to a friendship or your boss, or your relationship with a new partner — those boundaries should apply,” she says.

Search for related podcasts

Podcasts about niche interests or communities, like Richardson’s, are a great way to find online communities and forge connections with other stans of a certain subculture.

When it comes to joining a subculture or niche group, Montell says there is no one-size-fits-all advice because not every group is going to be equally healthy for everyone. But, ultimately, you reserve the right to invest your time in groups that leave you with positive, happy vibes and opt out of the rest.

With so many of us now working from home, a niche community can be a great way to meet new people. “It can validate your feelings when a hundred people like the same thing you like,” says Mullen.

Molly Ringwald Is Fine With Being a ‘Teen Buddha

The Gen X teen dream deftly navigated the patriarchy in the ’80s. And now she’s happy to help Gen Z do.

Sometimes, life really does imitate art. Having evolved from a celluloid teen poster girl of the ’80s with leading roles in The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, and Pretty in Pink to a real-life mother of three teens who also plays a mother of teens on TV and in films, it’s no wonder Molly Ringwald refers to herself jokingly as “teen Buddha.” It’s a phase of life that has perpetually informed her life and work — or so it seems.

On screen, Ringwald played a mom (and grandmother!) in the 2008-launched series The Secret Life of the American Teenager, and now, in her latest film, Netflix’s The Kissing Booth 3 (premiering August 11) — which continues the pre-college chronicles of Elle, Noah, and Lee — she plays a sage mom of teen boys. “It’s a nice feel-good movie, and I think that’s sort of what everybody needs right now,” Ringwald tells Shondaland. She describes the shoot in South Africa as a real-life family affair — she got to bring her own family along, as spending time with her own teens is always a priority. “Being a parent takes a great deal of time and focus,” Ringwald says.

This content is imported from youTube. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

Outside of her own family, Ringwald also consistently demonstrates a vested interest in the welfare of our young people in general. Which is why she’s recently taken on the role of spokesperson for the MenACWY vaccine campaign, a two-part vaccine that protects teens against bacterial meningitis. “I just want to make sure the parents are aware of the vaccine and get their kids vaccinated before they go off to college,” Ringwald explains, “to make sure that they’re really fully protected against meningococcal disease, which is rare but potentially life-threatening. If they survive it, they can have lifelong disabilities attached to it.”

The cause resonates with Ringwald personally, not just because she has three teens of her own, but because she suffered from a form of meningitis herself when she was college age. “I did have meningitis as a teenager, and I did survive it,” Ringwald says, “but I really wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I was very, very sick, but very lucky, so when they approached me about being a possible spokesperson, it just really made sense to me. Bacterial meningitis is life-threatening. Viral meningitis [which she had] can be life-threatening as well, but bacterial meningitis progresses very quickly, before parents even know what it is. They can think, ‘Oh, it’s just the flu; it’s just a headache,’ and before they even get the medical care, they can lose their child.”

As much as we can make of Ringwald’s important roles — both real-world and otherwise — in teen life, what you might not know about her own life is that she’s something of a Renaissance woman. Ringwald has been acting for decades, sure, but she’s also a talented singer, having starred in Broadway’s Cabaret in 2001 and the 2006 tour of Sweet Charity, and released a jazz album, Except Sometimes, in 2013. Ringwald is also a published author — she’s written a 2012 novel of linked short stories, When It Happens to You, and a 2011 nonfiction tome of middle-aged encouragement/self-discovery called Getting the Pretty Back.

Impressively, Ringwald’s lifelong love affair with the French language led to yet another gig as a French-to-English translator of novels. She first translated 2017’s Lie With Me, a best-selling novel by Philippe Besson, and a second book-translation project helped Ringwald kill time during lockdown. “It was kind of a perfect thing to do when you’re locked down because it’s very time-consuming, and it takes a lot of focus,” Ringwald explains. “For me, it was a little bit like doing a giant puzzle.”

Translating has become an unexpected sideline gig for Ringwald, whose book editor suggested it. “I thought, well, why not? I’m somebody who really never says no to a challenge,” Ringwald says. “I feel like it really improved my spoken French a lot, and then I found that I actually really liked it. I don’t know how many more I’m going to do, but we’ll see.”

Ringwald’s love of the French language began with her mom’s obsession with Julia Child. “I’ve always been a bit of a Francophile. My mom was a huge Julia Child fan when I was growing up and sort of a voracious cookbook reader and collector — that was really her idol,” Ringwald explains. “We would talk about French cuisine a lot. As I got older, I really became interested in French cinema, you know, Jean-Luc Godard and Truffaut. Then I moved to France, so now I have this very personal connection to it.”

While in France, where Ringwald relocated in the early ’90s, her fluency led to roles in French films like Tous Les Jours Dimanche and Enfants de Salaud.

She also continued to film TV projects in the U.S., like Stephen King’s 1994 miniseries The Stand and Something to Live for: The Alison Gertz Story, and eventually moved back to the States in 1997 to do theater in New York, which kicked off with a starring role in Paula Vogel’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play, How I Learned to Drive.

Despite the long and varied road of her career, Ringwald has rarely been able to shake off the films and characters that anointed her as a young starlet so many years ago — and she’s entirely okay with that. After reflecting upon her seminal teen films through a #MeToo lens as a mom while watching them with her eldest daughter, Mathilda, Ringwald wrote a candid, thoughtful essay for The New Yorker about what it was like to have to advocate to John Hughes against gratuitous female exploitation and sexism, as well as trying to digest other films through the “porny ... mist” typical of the time.

“John’s movies convey the anger and fear of isolation that adolescents feel,” Ringwald wrote about reliving moments of cringe with her Gen Z witness, “and seeing that others might feel the same way is a balm for the trauma that teenagers experience. Whether that’s enough to make up for the impropriety of the films is hard to say — even criticizing them makes me feel like I’m divesting a generation of some of its fondest memories, or being ungrateful since they helped to establish my career. And yet embracing them entirely feels hypocritical. And yet, and yet. …

Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club.

Universal

“How are we meant to feel about art that we both love and oppose? What if we are in the unusual position of having helped create it? Erasing history is a dangerous road when it comes to art — change is essential, but so too is remembering the past, in all of its transgression and barbarism, so that we may properly gauge how far we have come, and also how far we still need to go.”

This sentiment perhaps articulates how some Gen Xers find themselves struggling to reconcile the level of misogyny they’ve always put up with and perhaps even unwittingly participated in, as well as their thoughts about how it could be more to their Gen Z kids’ advantage to learn from the past rather than erase it.

“As I say in the piece, it’s important to know where we’ve come from so we can know where we’re going,” Ringwald says. “I feel very strongly that it doesn’t make any sense to just cancel things and pretend like they didn’t exist. I also feel like the films that I’ve done with John Hughes still have a lot of value. Breakfast Club really takes kids seriously and takes their voices seriously, and that’s something that I really want to encourage with my kids and with the kids of the coming generations. Of course, it’s very emotional to me because I lived through it. I don’t know if I’m ever able to have complete distance from the film nor can my kids. I mean, they’re always going to be looking at their mom in these situations. Certainly, enough people have talked to them about it — I mean, all of their friends have already seen the movies. So, it’s a little bit more complicated, but I do think that it’s a springboard to talk about important issues, and I think that’s really what matters.”

While carefully considering her past, Ringwald is still keeping an eye toward the future. Next up, Ringwald appears in a new limited-edition Netflix series, which, at time of this article’s publication, had to remain nameless. She’s also been working on a screenplay of her own — an organic amalgamation of her writing and acting talents. Not that she always finds the process easy. “Writing is never easy! I’m very suspicious of anybody who says it is,” she says. “I think writing is always a little bit torturous, but, you know, it’s something that you either have to do or you don’t, and, unfortunately, or fortunately, I’m one of those people that has to write.” She says she’s found the change in format from novel to screenplay enjoyable. “It’s different than writing an essay or writing a book. I’ve certainly been around the film business long enough to know what the format is, so I’m liking it.”

As for continuing to maintain the title of “teen Buddha,” Ringwald posits, “I often say it as a joke, but, on the other hand, I feel that it’s pretty unique. There are not that many people that both parents want to listen to, but then also their kids want to listen to. Except for my own, of course! Every teenager that’s not related to me really takes what I say pretty seriously, so I’m really happy that I have that platform, and that I’m in that position, and that I have the authenticity and the ear of both teenagers and their parents. And who knows? Maybe their grandparents too.”

For more information about meningitis and the MenACWY and MenB vaccines, visit the16vaccine.org.

What Does It Mean to Hold Space for Someone?

Experts explain what the buzz phrase means and how we can incorporate the concept into our lives.

Holding space is heard a lot in relational conversations these days. The concept has always been prevalent in our relationships yet feels like it’s only recently been defined. So, what does holding space even mean? We know it means to be there for someone, but how? What does it look like? And how can we make sure we’re doing it right?

“Holding space for someone can mean different things for different people, but, at a minimum, it means taking the initiative, without any prompting, to be empathic to another person’s situation or circumstance and making time for that individual to do whatever is needed for them, like voicing hurt, anger, or another strong emotion, and receiving whatever they need to communicate in a way that is supportive and nonjudgmental,” explains Rheeda Walker, a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor at the University of Houston, and the author of The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health.

Ultimately, holding space is about making sure the person in your life who needs to be listened to is heard. “Holding space for someone means that you offer them the opportunity to be seen and heard fully,” says Edward Brodkin, an associate professor of psychiatry with tenure at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania and the co-author of Missing Each Other: How to Cultivate Meaningful Connections. “It means you are intentional about setting time aside to be fully present with this person and providing them your full and undivided attention.”

Every relationship is unique — just like each person within a relationship is unique. As we move through the world and experience its gifts and punishments, the level of support we need and are capable of giving to others can shift in terms of our own emotional capacity. We could be sitting right next to someone we care about — we might be in conversation with them, even — and we might not really be seeing or hearing them. Our relentless internal monologues can dilute or drown out important messages that need to be heard, received, and addressed with empathy. “So many of us move through our days chronically stressed and preoccupied with our own thoughts and worries, making us unable to really listen to each other for long,” explains Ashley Pallathra, a doctoral candidate, clinical researcher, therapist, and co-author of Missing Each Other: How to Cultivate Meaningful Connections. Pallathra and Brodkin are research partners and collaborated on their answers in this interview.

That’s why the practice of holding space is so important when it comes to deepening and nurturing our relationships. It’s just as much about being present for another as it is about listening to them — even if what they might say makes us uncomfortable at first.

Holding space for someone oftentimes doesn’t involve giving advice.

fizkes//Getty Images

“Holding space is a form of attunement, or the ability to be aware of our own state of mind and body while also tuning in and connecting to another person,” says Brodkin. “Attunement is the ability to connect with someone, not only at a thought level but on a gut and emotional level too. It’s being able to stay in tune and in sync with both the feelings of others and one’s own feelings — not just in a single moment of understanding or empathy but over time, during the unpredictable twists and turns of an interaction.”

This means taking note of not just the words your friend is using, but their mannerisms as well. “Take note of their body language, tone of voice, cadence, and rhythm of speech,” says Pallathra. “Their shifting gaze can tell you which parts of their story are the most challenging for them to share. Taking note of all these cues allows you to follow their lead and meet them where they are. Maybe if they are agitated and restless, you can offer a grounded presence that helps to support and regulate their anxiety. Or, if someone is tearful and in grief, your calm confidence can make them feel secure in their most vulnerable state.”

Both Brodkin and Pallathra say that in order to respond with what they refer to as “calm confidence,” it helps to be cognizant of how you’re feeling as you “hold space.” “While it may seem counterintuitive, one critical element of this practice of being present for someone else requires that you be mindful of your own emotional state of mind,” says Brodkin.

Why? Because if the conversation triggers your issues, your self-awareness can help you curb the urge to chime in with your own two cents and redirect a conversation that is supposed to be about them and what they are saying.

“If you hold space for someone’s sadness, it may mean you don’t immediately give them advice, like providing them with the helpful strategies that led you back to joy at some point in your life,” says Pallathra. “While shared experiences can be comforting, to hold space for someone is a bit more intentionally one-sided, keeping the focus on them.”

This can prove challenging for some, but it is a rewarding practice to get the hang of. “Holding space isn’t easy,” she explains. “It may feel awkward at first, or you may feel uncomfortable, nervous, or shy. It might be difficult since there are many ways that our own emotions, biases, attributions, or past experiences can color how we listen and interpret what someone shares with us,” Pallathra says, recommending the space-holder practice “relaxed awareness” by taking deep, mindful breaths that keep you in the present if things get uncomfortable or triggering.

It’s just as much about being present for another as it is about listening to them — even if what they might say makes us uncomfortable at first.

After all, the practice of honoring another person’s feelings should be a given. “It adds insult to injury to ask for someone to throw water on you if you’re on fire. Honestly, I think an important dimension of holding space is that individuals don’t have to ask for it,” says Walker.

The practice of holding space for others is truly a gift you not only give to the person you’re holding space for but a gift you give yourself in terms of what you may learn, and an enhanced and deeper capacity for connection. “If you’re really able to hold space for someone, it will be memorable to both of you, and your connection is much more likely to grow,” Pallathra says. “Ultimately, it allows for both people in the interaction to feel closer to one another.”

“Holding space takes time and energy, both for the person holding space and the person being held — something that we don’t often have the luxury for in the day-to-day hustle of life,” says Brodkin. “It’s a way of investing in your relationship, nurturing it, and enabling it to grow. In order for the relationship to grow, you need to be able to see them for who they really are. If you can’t, then how can you know them with any depth?”

Not Ready to Let Go of Pandemic Habits? You Aren’t Alone

Experts weigh in on why it’s okay to move forward at your own pace.

There we were, in the midst of enjoying a “hot vax summer” and ditching our sweats for higher hemlines when, all of the sudden, some Covid restrictions were reinstated in the U.S. due to a rise in cases — especially among the unvaccinated.

But pre-delta, when most restrictions had been lifted, many of us struggled to suddenly resume what we regarded as “normal” pre-pandemic life and habits after a year of changed behavior.

Everyone, in their own way, has been reckoning with what they’re ready to get back to doing. A May New York Times article asked if the pandemic habit of skipping daily showers might be worth holding on to. (I never missed a daily shower but, hey — to each their own).

As for me, I still hesitate a little at the prospect of indoor dining, though I’m fully vaxxed — especially when using public bathrooms while maskless. Scenarios like these force me to reckon with this long-established pandemic boundary on the fly, which can trigger feelings of anxiety about reentry.

“This last year has shaken us to our core, globally. There was nowhere that we could hide from our fears,” says Rheeda Walker, PhD, a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor at University of Houston, and the author of The Unapologetic Guide to Black Mental Health. “Anxiety is elevated by (understandable) uncertainty about the future that we fill in with thoughts of the worst possible outcome. It’s the filling-in that can get us in trouble. We say things like ‘I cannot take this anymore’ or ‘I could get sick and die,’” she explains.

Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist based in New York City who teaches at Columbia University, says whether you insist on still eating outdoors or wearing a mask, some or all of the pandemic behaviors we’ve acquired give us more of a sense of agency and control than relying solely on the efficacy of vaccines or dwindling cases of Covid.

“People alive today who did not get Covid may feel like it was those behaviors that kept them from contracting Covid and therefore kept them safe,” she explains. “They may doubt the full ability of the vaccines to do so. It’s easy for people to think, ‘If this happened, then anything is possible, so I will keep protecting myself.’”

It hasn’t helped that we’ve had mixed messages from authorities about what’s safe and what isn’t all along. “Managing what we can control — and not worrying about what we cannot control — is the best way to manage anxiety,” says Walker. “Given conflicting expectations, uncertainty, and the absence of critical levels of vaccinated individuals (70 percent, as determined by experts), the only thing that many can control is whether they wear a mask.”

There’s nothing wrong with continuing to mask up.

Jasenka Arbanas//Getty Images

Walker says as long as our pandemic behaviors aren’t disruptive to daily life, wearing masks and wiping down groceries is fine, but we don’t want to unintentionally escalate our own anxiety, or “awfulize” our circumstances. “It is more helpful to substitute our ‘awfulizing’ mindset with something like ‘The last 17 months have been hard, but I can get through today’ or ‘I will take reasonable precautions not to get sick, but if I do, I can handle it to the best of my ability,’” she says.

Hafeez says holding on to some of our pandemic behaviors is fine during an acclimation period as long you maintain some balance and don’t get too rigid. “Extremes in life are never constructive. If someone feels better having a mask in their purse or doesn’t want to go to a stadium for a ball game right now, that’s fine. Perhaps they just need more time to acclimate than others. If someone is continuing to behave as if it were June of 2020, when hospitals were maxed out with Covid patients, that is a problem because that does not reflect the current reality and level of threat,” she says.

This depends, of course, on the location where you live. Thanks to the delta variant, large swaths of the U.S. are now having Covid surges (these are especially high in unvaccinated communities).

Once the numbers go down again, how can we let go of protective behaviors?

Start with what is easiest for you first and then work your way to the top to the most challenging, says Hafeez. “The first challenges can be sanitizing your hands less, shaking hands with someone, having dinner with someone inside in a restaurant, sharing an elevator not wearing a mask, and then build up to more challenging things like going to a dinner party, going maskless in a crowd of people outside. It’s about exposing yourself little by little to the things you fear until you feel comfortable doing them again and they become second nature the way they were pre-pandemic,” she says.

Of course, it’s critical that you follow the guidance of the CDC and your local public-health department. If cases are rising, hold off on following the above advice.

We asked our readers on social media which post-pandemic behaviors they intend to hang on to. Here’s what they said (masks FTW!).

“I never thought I’d feel so exposed without a mask! I’ll wear one at least in stores, especially during cold and flu season. I’ve really loved not having a cold for over a year!” — Tracy Roberts Mead

“Masking up! Avoiding crowds.” — @justeves9

“I still don’t want people hugging me. One good aspect to come out of this is people seem to respect personal space. I hope it continues.” — @danielleebowers

“Masks during flu season!” — @leilawatamaniuk

“Washing hands and sitting away from ppl 😅. Especially the latter 😂” — @gassytraore

“Continue with anti-bacterial in public, when returning home, keep hands away from eyes/mouth/nose…as always! Distance when possible.” — @localfoodeater Gerry Furth-Sides

“Masks and Anti bac..... forever!! Xx” — @alishialal

It’s okay if you’re not ready to go to big, crowded events. It’s all about taking small steps to normalcy.

nd3000//Getty Images

“Hand sanitizer, avoid large crowds unless I wear a mask.” — @addictedtodramatvshows

“Having known people who were fully vaccinated die of Covid leaves me fearful of the strength and contagiousness of this variant,” says Kambo. “I’ve seen it spread in a week through entire apartment blocks and put them in ultra-lockdown. We live in a large private house, and yet we picked it up from the hospital, and my father died within two weeks. I am still in a lockdown. I don’t know how much the variant has spread, but one thing is certain is that there is no containing it, as the past year has shown. And flights are coming in from India every day.” — Charu Kambo

“I don’t feel comfortable hugging people yet, it’s sad because it’s something I have been missing this whole year. However, I don’t feel comfortable yet, so I will continue avoiding large crowds and maybe just hanging out with the friends that are vaccinated.” — @marelizard

“I’m okay with not shaking hands! And as a New Yorker, I have always lived by the six-foot distance rule! Haha please don’t breathe down my neck while waiting in line haha 😂 self-love! Need my space.” — @michaeljbenzaia

“I’m good with masks for a while. And I do not miss physical face-to-face meetings at all. So Zoom is a keeper.” — @girlfrombim

“Working out at home being coached via Zoom. No more morning traffic, seeking parking space, or mopping up another weightlifter’s sweat off the bench!!!” — @janetcarabelli

“Masks on airplanes. I used to get sick every time I traveled by plane and thought it was unavoidable.” — @hildegaard

The other night, I had dinner inside a restaurant with my friends. It was perfectly enjoyable. The restaurant was meticulous about Covid protocols, and that helped. But it’s summer, and I like eating al fresco, so I’ll hold on to that pandemic habit — not because I need to, but because I want to. As the experts say, a sense of agency can be comforting.

The 1in4 Coalition is Cracking Open Doors for Disabled People in Hollywood

Few roles about disabled people exist in entertainment, and those are rarely played by a disabled actor. The 1in4 Coalition is out to change this.

Though one in four people are disabled in the United States, and 1.3 billion people are disabled around the world, representation of disabled people in the entertainment industry — both on and behind the screen — is sorely lacking. A visit to the Ford Foundation’s 2019 Road Map for Inclusion report confirms the scope of the problem.

“One out every four Americans has a disability. However, far fewer than 25 percent of characters in the media today are depicted with a disability — and those who are, most often are not portrayed by a disabled actor,” the white paper reads. “Moreover, media makers do not seem to be cognizant of disabled people’s absence. Why would they be? The current system is working for them. According to the film website IndieWire, 59 non-disabled actors have earned Oscar nominations for playing disabled characters. History suggests that those nominees have nearly a 50% shot at a win.’”

Of all speaking characters across the top 100 movies of 2019, only 2.3% had a disability, according to a study by the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative. Another study of the top 10 network TV shows for 2018 found just 12% of disabled characters were played by disabled actors, according to The Ruderman White Paper on Authentic Representation in TV, published in 2018.

Our hope is to normalize disability on the spectrum of life experiences so that people aren't afraid to ask for help, or feel the need to hide and suffer in silence...

The inclusion of disabled people offscreen isn’t much better. Only 17.9% of people with a disability were employed in the entire labor force 2020 (29% of people with a disability are employed part-time), according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. This sharply contrasts the 68% of Americans without disabilities who were employed in 2020.

But some Hollywood veterans are out to change that with the 1IN4 Coalition. The recently launched advocacy group is determined to bring some much-needed balance to the status quo in Hollywood. It’s the only organization founded by Hollywood changemakers with disabilities for working people in Hollywood with disabilities — the Coalition is run by a powerful, intersectional coalition of working disabled creatives, dedicated to advocacy for long-term institutional change.

Those at the helm of the 1in4 Coalition have experienced their share of discrimination. Sara Fischer, head of production at Shondaland Media and a founding member of 1in4, went to great lengths to keep her Multiple Sclerosis (MS) under wraps while freelancing for fear of losing work, recalling how she was once accused of being drunk by an executive producer she worked with because she sometimes bumps into things, and is unable to walk in a straight line.

“I kept it hidden,” says Fischer. “I was working freelance, going from show to show, and I hid it so I could be hired again. I didn't want to be a working in a man's world with children — the mom everyone already thinks will be busy with school, and home with sick children — and I didn't want to be a mother that had something ‘wrong’ with her.”

Eryn Brown, a talent manager and partner at Management 360 who uses leg braces to walk, was an aspiring literary agent when she graduated Stanford, but after graduation, she found open doors slammed shut as soon as prospective employers saw her disability.

“It was devastating,” says Brown of discrimination she faced. “I really wanted to be a motion picture literary agent and got interviews at all the agencies because of my experience and my Stanford honors degree. But I never got a second interview and I never got hired. One agency, where I knew there was a specific job that I wanted, told me they would never hire me because they couldn't accommodate me — it would take too long for me to go to the bathroom and I wouldn't be able to get coffee or walk a client to the elevator — none of which is true.”

The 1in4 Coalition is creating opportunities in the film industry for people with disabilities.

Courtesy of the 1in4 Coalition

Brown knew she had to do something to affect change when she realized she hadn’t met another person with a visible physical disability in the power structure of Hollywood. “Not one agent manager, lawyer, producer, or executive in 24 years,” she said. “When I realized that was the case, I looked at populations of Americans with disabilities and was so floored by the statistics, juxtaposed with me being the only person. I realized I was part of the problem and I wanted to change that. I didn't want anyone else to ever be the only person, again.”

This inspired Brown to assemble a group of disabled Hollywood creatives and decision-makers to form the 1in4 Coalition. Inspired by successful nonprofits like GLAAD, she quickly gained an understanding of what approach to take in alleviating stigma and effecting a cultural sea change. “We’re starting with jobs, trying to create pipelines and also raise awareness and educate people, because if attitudes are not adjusted and mindsets changed then people who are hired won't be set up to succeed,” she explains.

Both Fischer and Brown say their work with 1in4 opened their eyes to how the discrimination they experienced impacted their own experience as employers and mentors. “I worked in an office for nine-and-a-half years that had a stairway with no access, so I never saw the offices of my partners and colleagues on that floor,” says Brown. “I consciously didn't hire an assistant with a disability or who used a wheelchair because I didn't want them to suffer the indignity of not being able to go service that part of the company. I was in a position of power so people would come down to my office, but I was not mentoring other disabled people, or educating them as assistants or in the mailroom. I realize that not speaking up about that — disabled people are so prone to just swallow it and move on and not speak up — that the cultural message of it being OK to every employee and every client who came in the building then signaled that it’s OK. And it’s not.”

It was a long road, but Fischer is finally in a place where she feels comfortable saying she has MS. “I work for a powerful woman [Shonda Rhimes] who says to think of it as, ‘Look at what I'm doing despite having MS.’ I am succeeding and I should brag about it instead of keeping it hidden,” she says. When she has some difficulty walking on location, Fischer found a silver lining in how this challenge can deepen some of her on-set ties. “If I'm walking on a location scout and it’s hilly, or it's a long walk or whatever, I just say to the closest person to me, ‘Do you mind if I hold your arm?’ and while I walk around with them I find out about their family, or how they started their careers,” she says.

“Our hope is to normalize disability on the spectrum of life experiences so that people aren't afraid to ask for help, or feel the need to hide and suffer in silence when requesting something as simple as, ‘Hey, can I can I use your arm,’” says Brown. “I don't want anyone ever to be one of one, and Sara wants other people who come after her not to have to hide in the way that she did and feel so vulnerable.”

To create a world where art truly imitates life, Brown says the “ultimate aim” of the 1in4 Coalition is to reframe the cultural messaging of disability — and that starts with representation behind the camera as much as it does in front of it.

“An amazing change is happening right now in Hollywood for a lot of underrepresented groups except, just like in history and society, disabled people have been left out of it. In this conversation of heightened awareness of diversity, inclusion, and equity, we want a disability to be a part of that. We are focused on jobs and reframing cultural messaging through increasing accessibility and the authentic storytelling of disabled people in Hollywood,” says Brown.

“If you look back at the history of beauty standards and ‘normal’ — that is a societal construct due to the consistent messaging of a certain type of person who has been in power. What we’ve been spoon-fed is that people want wish-fulfillment in their entertainment. While there's a part of that, what we believe is what people crave most is authentic storytelling and to see their lives in stories as a way to help process what one is going through personally. For stories to be told authentically, you also have to include the people whose stories they are and hire them,” Brown explains.

“Throwing a character in a wheelchair in one episode of one show that lasts a whole season — to check the disability box — doesn’t cut it,” says Fischer. “The normalization of what we see is very important as an organization.”

Brown says a key step in boosting representation and normalization would be the establishment of the role of a set accessibility coordinator — modeled after the role created in recent years of the intimacy coordinator — to provide disabled actors and employees with a safe person to handle accessibility issues, and who will hold production to a higher standard, so those with both visible and invisible disabilities are hired and won’t fear advocating for themselves. Brown, Fischer, and the 1IN4 coalition have created a website to serve as an invaluable resource for Hollywood creatives and employees with disabilities and a database for those looking to hire people with disabilities.

“It’s as simple as adding the ‘A,’” says Fischer. “Every company, every studio, every agency now has DEI departments; for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Add the “A” for accessibility. It trickles down. As Eryn said, it starts with the storytelling, but it also starts with the people who are making the stories that we tell. We have to figure out a way to hire people with disabilities on sets — offer them the job and then let them tell us what they need to do it.”

For more information about how you can get involved with or support the 1in4 Coalition, visit 1in4Coalition.org.

Stop Shoulding Yourself with Vivian Manning-Schaffel

Listen To Podcast

I get stuck in The Shoulds all the time – should be thinner, richer, more successful, blah, blah, blah – and write about it from time to time in my newsletter, blog and Facebook community…so that’s what this episode is all about.

Celebrate Your Dad With a Letter of Appreciation

Writing a letter of appreciation to your dad or father figure can be a powerful way to celebrate him on Father’s Day. Here’s how to get started.

Though much pomp and circumstance surround Mother’s Day (and rightly so), plenty of dads do heavy lifting at home and deserve equal kudos come their day every June.

If you have a loving, nurturing relationship with your dad or the father figure in your life, Father’s Day can be the perfect opportunity to show and tell your love for him with a letter that expresses your feelings. Aside from costing you nothing but the paper you write or print them on, words that express your love and gratitude can be the thoughtful gift of the heart that keeps on giving — and your dad can sit with your words and reread them at will.

If you aren’t the heart-on-your-sleeve type, it can be daunting to put your feelings into words, especially committing them to print. But, for the reader, the gesture can make a huge impact. “The act of somebody sitting down and taking the time to write a letter is very powerful for the audience,” says Jennifer Guttman, a clinical psychologist in New York City and Westport, Connecticut, who specializes in cognitive behavior for adults, children, and families. “Anything that takes time to do is received very powerfully by the person that’s on the receiving end.”

According to a study published in Psychological Science, “expressing gratitude improves well-being for both expressers and recipients.” Researchers conducted three experiments where participants wrote gratitude letters and predicted how surprised, happy, and awkward the lucky letter recipients might feel, then logged in to see how the recipients actually felt after reading these letters. It turns out the writers underestimated the positive response these letters would get. The outcome? “Underestimating the value of prosocial actions, such as expressing gratitude, may keep people from engaging in behavior that would maximize their own — and others’— well-being,” the study’s conclusion reads.

---

If you aren’t sure how or where to start writing your letter, we’ve got a few pointers to help you find inspiration.

Start with a rough draft

Even Shakespeare couldn’t execute perfect prose from the jump. Start writing your letter without writing a letter. Instead, make a list of thoughts, in-jokes, or feelings you’d like to convey or include. This way, you can organize your thoughts and weed out the things that might sound better in your head than in print before committing them to the actual letter.

Let his demeanor guide your approach

What’s your dad’s or father figure’s personality like? Is he always dead serious, or does he take few things seriously? More importantly, what’s your style of communication together? When writing your dad or father figure a letter, think of it in terms of having a conversation with him — just don’t change your voice to be better received by him, says Guttman. “It’s important to be true to your authentic self, and your authentic self may be different than your father’s demeanor,” she says. “There has to be a blend between being palatable to their demeanor while also being authentic to yourself.”

Keep your letter short and sweet.

jaminwell//Getty Images

Consider what he’s taught you

Guttman says meditating on the important life lessons your dad or father figure taught you can help dictate the main message or direction of the letter. “Maybe you learned lessons about integrity, or honesty, or loyalty — you can write about how your dad guided you in those ways. Or, story-tell around a time when you thought that your dad demonstrated those qualities, and how you feel like that was useful in your life in terms of trying to emulate them,” Guttman suggests.

Reflect on how you bond, and speak from the heart

Guttman also says reflecting on activities you did to bond with your dad or father figure could help inspire your letter’s message, because those activities are inextricably linked to your dynamic. “The more you use real-life examples of things that remind you of him, the more it will come off as from the heart and the less it will come off as a Hallmark card,” she says, recommending you use those things as a springboard to express the values he’s taught you, like loyalty or integrity.

If words are hard to come by, keep it short but sweet

Don’t worry too much about the process. This isn’t a term paper; it’s an expression of love. Take a casual approach, using the same words you’d use in a conversation. Your most recent texts or messages can also help to remind you of in-jokes and things that resonate with both of you.

Finally, when it comes to letter writing and word count, quality trumps quantity. “A page is plenty long,” Guttman says. “People have information fatigue and run into compassion fatigue, so you don’t want to oversaturate your letter with sweetness because then you’re losing your message. You can save that for next year’s letter.”

The Art and Science of Being Lucky

READ ARTICLE

Is there truly a way to create your own luck?

In the Throes of Reentry Anxiety? Here’s What to Do

READ ARTICLE

Mental-health experts say that after all we’ve been through, there is no going back to “normal.” But we can get back to life.

The Joy of Spring

READ ARTICLE

With seasonal affective disorder, winter is a special kind of hell for this writer. But when the sun comes out, all becomes right with the world.

Just for Moms: Ways to Indulge in Self-Care for Mother’s Day

READ ARTICLE

Shower yourself with some TLC this Mother’s Day.

How to Show Mom You Appreciate Her After a Trying Year

READ ARTICLE

For moms, just getting from last May to this May was no mean feat. Here are some ways to show Mom gratitude.

How Dawnie Walton’s Musical Faves Inspired Her to Write Her Debut Novel

READ ARTICLE

Walton, a former “Essence” magazine executive editor, talks to Shondaland about writing her novel, “The Final Revival of Opal & Nev.”

How 'I May Destroy You' Accurately Depicts Sexual Assault

READ ARTICLE

Michaela Coel's new HBO show is one of the most compelling dramas of the summer, and it's also one of the realest.

How to find 'me time' at home

READ ARTICLE

Time to yourself — even just ten minutes — can do wonders for your psychological well-being.

Can Women Be Drag Queens?

READ ARTICLE

Though the art form was started by queer men, some women have been inspired to try it out. But should they? Shondaland spoke to several queens to find out.

Is it safe to rent an Airbnb or vacation home right now?

READ ARTICLE

Booking sites like Vrbo have seen an uptick in demand as summer approaches. Experts explain how to rent a vacation home as safely as possible.