Young Massholes NOT Expected To Keep It In Their Pants

The Boston Globe reports that come fall (make that CUM-Fall) P-Town students - REGARDLESS OF GRADE - will be issued condoms upon request -- and their parents won't be the wiser. This in thanks to a new district-wide policy approved by the Provincetown school board. Along with the rubbers, kids -- EVEN THOSE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL -- will receive a lecture on abstinence and counseling.

Apparently, "officials" are saying there's no set age when sexual activity begins, so their covering their dicks -- I mean -- asses. 

Mind you, this shit isn't going down with the pretense of protecting innocent victims from growing up too fast on the mean streets of Roxbury. We're talking about P-TOWN.  

Um...do rubbers even fit third graders? 

Call me old-school. Call me a cock-eyed optimist. Call me a fucking idiot. But I insist on living in a world where real live seXXX is far from the minds of all elementary school students, and the most action they'll get is a glimpse of Katy Perry's tee-tahs during MTV's Top 20 Video Countdown. Okay, and for 5th graders, maybe a few wide-eyed flips through the porn vault in the bowels of their parents closet. 

And it's not just because my brain bleeds each time I think of my soon-to-be second grader harboring the brand of randy thoughts his dad does. As a parent, if the-powers-that-be insist on serving up condoms without question to our elementary school aged kids -- which would kind of indicate he or she was sexually active -- wouldn't you like...WANT TO KNOW? How about a call from the NURSE so you have a chance to address this life-altering shit with them, mano-a-mano?

What do you guys think?