Vajazzle Dazzle 'Em

Long time no smooch! Who needs niceties when there's nitty grit to get to?

Duck! Miz Campbell's at it again!

Last night, her driver for the day cruised by an NYC police station to file a harassment report against the aging supermodel. Apparently she lunged forth from the backseat of his Escalade and smacked him silly into the steering wheel, giving him a big-ass shiner. She likely won't do any time for her antics but he's got grounds to pursue some $damages$. 

First off, has she learned nothing from that orange jumpsuit incident? And isn't she like, 40? I think this shit past cute straight into ugly after the age of 18. I don't know a soul alive who wouldn't like to dope slap those who offend us at will, but that's what makes us evolved beyond the chimps, yo. Like they say in preschool, you MUST learn to use your words Naomi!

And I'd like to say godspeed to my former employer, who used to have to slap band-aids on the boo-boos she left in her wake. 

Is your vagina bored? Does it miss all the glitz and glamour of its nubile years? My girls at momlogic have done us the immeasurable honor of pointing our privates toward the perfect solution. You too can wax the shit out of your nether region and make pretty designs with an amalgam of glue and fake crystals. Talk about keying in on the human attraction to shiny objects. If this complex practice doesn't invite an erection from every penis in the immediate vicinity, I don't know what will. So razzle dazzle it, Bitches! Vajazzling for all!

We parents all have those shiteous maximus kinda days where we've got to get to work and no childcare can be found. But whether or not the kid should come to work with you depends on what it is you do for a living. For example, if I were an open heart surgeon, I wouldn't exactly deem it fit to scrub in my minion and hand them a beating heart whilst I rearranged some poor bastard's innards. 

That said, when I came across this story about a kid who took to the mic at an air traffic control tower, my response quickly flipped from funny ha-ha to funny/kinda/not. I mean, with all the crazies making our friendly skies not so friendly these days, why risk um...lives...and add more restrictions to the mix?

Makes one ponder what's REALLY in "boiled dinnah."

So check it Homies, my Bars Banning Babies momlogic post caught fire to the point that Good Morning America was looking for folks who'd been booted from a bar for bringing a baby. Anyone care to chip at five of your allotted fifteen minutes of fame? Leave a comment right quick! 

Alright Compadres, peace the fuck out.

xx

The Mad Mom