The holiday season is officially upon us and we find ourselves festooned with garland, our cheeks stuffed with rugelach and social obligations up the wazoo. Get down!
So who can we laugh at today?
Lambert Cracks Whip, Inserts Tongue
Im'a do a lil' Hag Supreme crossover this week, because this Adam Lambert-infused ridiculousity needs to be addressed. I saw his flamboyant performance on the AMA's and you know what? Who cares. By canceling his appearance, GMA did nothing but raise Lambert's YouTube Q rating, along with his penis.
"People aren't used to seeing a gay man like that on TV. The gay male in the media tends to be very cliche and safe."
WORD, my sista/brotha. What kind of gay/straight double standard allows Madonna to cop a squat on the faces of endless sinewy backup dancers and you're barely allowed to let your tongue accidentally graze the mic?
So you made the performance your "coming out" to compensate for all those subdued gender neutral stylings you felt compelled to serve us on American Idol. So the only thing gayer would have been to employ the use of a feather boa, jazz hands and a rousing rendition of "Everything's Coming Up Roses." SO WHAT.
"My dad was like, 'Maybe you should apologize, Adam,' he says. I was like, 'You know, dad, I don't feel like I did anything wrong. It just wasn't maybe the right judgment call. It's a taste thing more than an obscenity thing. I think it's just a taste level.' "
Yeah, kinda like that backup dancer got to taste the level of the zipper on your pants!
A tip of the penii to you, Sir Lamberto. You hit notes I only dream of and I love it when you are rawer than sushi. Let 'em say what they'll say. This Hag Supreme's got your back.
Yo Gabba Gabba!
In matters of a more parental advisory nature, I spent a saw buck I didn't have to take my sweet Go-Go Girl to Yo Gabba Gabba Live at the Beacon Theatre. And let me tell you, it was well worth the saw buck and more to see the look on her lil' face when The Roots took the stage to give us some "Lovely, Love." And thanks to Biz Markie, she's got a promising career in beatboxing ahead of her.
If they tour again and you have chitlins in the age range, or your simply stoned off your ass, you must go. It's a spectacle to behold.
Idiot Of The Week
Seeing as the Sarah Palin/Oprah fiasco was last week (McCain lost the election because he told me what to eat, how to dress and how to do my hair! Wasn't me! That's why I've gone rogue! Look, my hairs as big as a regular soccer moms now! And I'm wearing my best Joyce Leslie!), a new, and believe it or not even better, fuck up has occurred that deserves your attention, courtesy of my MomLogic people.
Just covered a piece for them about an asshole from rural PA who saw fit to take his ten year old girl hunting (to kick off the season) and they both got shot because she dropped the rifle off of a treestand.
So not only was this kid expected to trade in her Holly Hobby for a Ruger Model 44 bigger than she is, she was expected to be proficient enough to manage the kickback of it whilst balancing herself at high altitude.
The kicker? The Game Commission deems this as LEGAL. Apparently in hunting circles, it's perfectly legal for children under the age of 12 to fire a rifle if accompanied by a licensed hunter over the age of 21.
I'm not into hunting myself, but adults are going to do what they will. But this kid should be painting Cotton Candy pink on her fingernails for fun, not to detract from the numerous stitches across her hand she gleaned from her first bullet wound courtesy of dear ol' Dad's flaming idiocy.
Loser. Literally.
Loser: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos
If you haven't gotten a load of these literal videos, please do so. They're cute.
Stupid Situation Of The Week
Oh the horror! Maclaren strollers issued a recall on over 1 million strollers because 12, count 'em 12 toddlers lost their fingers to the side hinges.
Now I'm not poo-pooing the recall itself. I'm simply wondering about people who feel compelled to fold up this stroller in such close proximity to a toddler in the first fucking place.
After all, closing a Maclaren is somewhat of a violent act in and of itself. You have to kick down a handle, kick up the hinge in the back then bend the damn thing over using your entire body. Isn't there as great a risk for bashing your kid upside the head with a wheel during this complex endeavor? Seriously, who thinks it's cool to let little Rylee or Baylee reach into the basket for their sippy cup while this rather large contraption of aluminum and cloth is flailing about?
That's it for now sexsi people!
xo
©2009 All Rights Reserved. Or Kiss. My. Ass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA is the classic... Glee Club of the Damned
Glambert could have been a little less crass.
Think of other male rock & roll sex icons:
Michael Jackson, Prince, Marvin Gaye, The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Mick Jagger, Jim Morrison, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Steven Tyler, Sting, Tom Jones, Bruce Springsteen, Elton John...
They all got away with male sexuality on stage in a tasteful and rock & roll way. Glambert has no class. He can't get up there an expect an audience that doesn't know him to just accept him. Gay or straight that doesn't fly.
He's going after something a little to quickly.
And a tip of the penis to you, Sir Pink! Much truth to this. Well said.
I still feel it's ridiculous that he's been banned from so much in the aftermath.
I truly enjoy reading your blog as the postings are so easy to read and follow. Brilliant. Keep up the great work. Cheers.
thanks for that
Sweet post! My daughter is 3 and she loves yo gabba gabba!
neat stuff, cheers man
Great post. Simon's the best. I just can't imagine he is leaving American Idol.