Yo. Happy Friday!
Disintercourse
Love me some 30 Rock. Aside from the pithy dialogue, I really get off on the Lemon/Donaghy dynamic because it's one of the rare instances on network TV where a straight man and woman enjoy a true platonic friendship. Y'know, like the kind you have in real life?
What I like about their relationship is that fucking is off the table all together. As far as he's concerned, she is beholden of a penis and thus, she's the only woman in his world he's able to forge a true connection with. As far as she's concerned, she gets how his wheels turn and thus wouldn't spread for him if he were the last cock on earth.
This in and of itself is far more interesting than the "sexual tension" tons of show runners think we give a shit about. If they fucked, it might be hot but they'd have nothing left to say to each other. Besides, Lemon provides a decent example for young brainy, yet delinquent four-eyed chicks of questionable ethnic origin everywhere. Let her show 'em the way to the top certainly ain't on the bottom.
Stupidity Of The Week
Kid Charges Parents $15 To Talk To Him
My people at MomLogic learned of a story in the China Daily where a twenty-something live-at-home slacker shithead has the sac to charge his parents fifteen bucks (well, the equivalent yuan) every time they want to talk to them.
The parents say the kid's cell phone is always off and he dodges them every time he comes home or goes out. So once the father left the cash with a note for him to call and whadda ya know? He did. And now it's the only way they can talk to him.
What is wrong with these people? What is he, TEN? Apparently this young buck as no clue where his bread is buttered. And these parents haven't a clue that in holding the purse strings, they hold HAND.
Want your smarmy shit kid to talk to you? Stop paying his cell phone bill and kick his spoiled ass out on the street, right quick. That'll teach him to speak when he's spoken to.
Exhibit A: Drunka Fortuna
There are a certain breed of Massholes in possession of a superpower -- the ability to exalt themselves and summon the divine to do their bidding through alcohol abuse. I call it "Drunka Fortuna." Behold how this lucky chick was somehow just wasted enough to avoid a grisly fate of the T face on. This goes way beyond the drunka fortuna of bowling eight strikes in a row or hitting the bullseye on the daht boahd at Fahthus.
And if any of you homies dare get pissy at me for calling the majorus populus from the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts a bunch of flaming drunks, please kiss my ass. I've got the liver and the birth certificate to back it up, TRUST.
Ridicicrunkulous!
As you devout readers know, we here at The Mad Mom are established purveyors and connoisseurs of all things douche. It seems someone at Funny Or Die also put their fingers on this pulse because they've created this compelling display of douche pride....
