Shello.
I know, I know...where's my ass been?
I'll tell you where I've been. Taking care of sick kids and blogging for benjamins, that's where. The good folks at Momlogic.com and I have joined forces, so if you tune in a few times a week, you'll find your trusty Mad Mom dishing about everything from Tori & Dean to Octo-Mom.
So what'cha waiting for, slacker? Check, check it out!
Parenting (v.)
Speaking of slackers, Lisa Belkin wrote a cool piece for the New York Times magazine (thanks, Lindsey!) called Let The Kid Be, about how nothing about parenting -- except maybe that it's now considered a verb -- is new, and that as long as homosapiens breed, they'll be looking for something to call themselves so they can turn around and point fingers at someone who does things differently.
True 'dat. So many Gen X'ers (uh, guilty) spent their twenties (a.k.a extended adolescence) gazing at their navels (under the influence mind you, so it felt like a really looooong time), in an attempt to identify and justify any number of their predilections, inclinations and defecations.
And now that a great majority of them (us) have reproduced, it chuffs me that so many of those in the self-expression biz (myself included) have chosen to self-identify with "Mom," "Dad," or something that implies either as a suffix, as opposed to our parents who opted for a prefix like, "Mr." "Mrs." or the provocatively liberal, "Ms." All that costly therapy to shovel about our innards and in lieu of taking stock, we still get all '50s coffee klatch -- we just also make the world our therapist.
So in each and every little social matrix, a version of The Idle Parent has a standing Wednesday morning coffee with Bad Mother , who says Slacker Mom was saying that America's Worst Mom said Alternadad had let their kid blah, blah, friking..blah. Just choose a prefix you most identify with and -- bonzai! Justification!
Even career-parents Kate Gosslin and Octo-Mom are pointing fingers and spitting about each other's biznazz. Um...shouldn't they be too busy chasing their vanity litters to even consider each other's bullshit? Why don't we just get all these misnomers in a ring and let them duke it out? Imagine what we'd make in admission! It'd be a veritable haze of Butt Paste and bravado!
J.Hud is Preggo
The chat is finally out of the bag: The beautiful and talented Jennifer Hudson is knocked up.
According to People.com via MSNBC, she was feted at a weekend baby shower in her hometown of Chi-town.
Talk about the circle of life. And talk about handling her need for privacy in show biz with elegance and grace. I don't think a soul on planet earth would argue that this woman deserves some peace and joy. Congrats!
Stupid Item of the Week
Now you're asking yourself, "What's she possibly got to squak about? These look like adorable little shoes!"
Sure. They're adorable. My problem is not with the design, but with the audio component.
They SQUEAK. Every time your toddler takes a step.
Why don't they just sell me a regular pair of shoes and a stick to insert into my eyes?
I have enough trouble with those damn Melissa & Doug puzzles emitting ghost cow sounds in the middle of the night.
I got an even better idea. How about a line of AFFORDABLE cute kid shoes? Hm? That'd be revolutionary.
Don't Miss...
I'm chomping at the bit to see the Showtime premieres of Weeds and a new show called Nurse Jackie, starring Edie Falco and my bud, amazing actor and dad about town, Dominic Fumusa, who plays said nurse's hubby. It's on next Monday night, June 8th @ 10:30.
My GURL Jodi, the bright light of Pistols And Popcorn, is on a quest to raise big bucks for the Lifestrong Challenge and the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Click here to read about her amazing fundraiser and raffle. Every $5 you donate to Jodi's page will score you a raffle ticket to win tons of cool shit, like red carpet tix to the Fall premiere of Martin Scorsese's latest flick, "Shutter Island," starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, and our lovely neighborhood mamasita, Michelle Williams, who will personally hang with the winners. You don't have to be here in NYC to win -- just to hit the premiere. So click!
All you Brooklyn breeders out there, take heed -- you can also enter the raffle by stopping by Jodi's Lifestrong Challenge Fundraiser at Layla Jones on Court Street on Tuesday, June 30th. I'll be the one with driblets of sauce and prosciutto pie smeared across my shirt.
And for all you gals and gays out there, don't miss my new monthly advice column for OutAboutBrooklyn! Write in with your questions!
That's it for now. Peace out kemosabe!
xo
MM
Hey! Those adorable shoes were originally made for the blind... then some moron though it would be cute everywhere, not realizing the only thing worse than squeaky pitter pats is a toddler tantrum! My SHOOOOOOS MY SHHOOOOOOSSSS I WAAAANT my SHOOOOOSSSS!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH
Milo had the boy version of those shoes (hand me downs, of course) and we "disabled" the sound mechanism with a screwdriver, our teeth and a shitload of determination.
LMAO: "It'd be a veritable haze of Butt Paste and bravado!" Haha!!
Someone just told me about these shoes: http://www.inchwormshoes.com/
Super-stylish? No. Super clever? Yes. I'm considering a pair for my 3 y.o. who outgrows shoes in his sleep.