Shit Where You Eat

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Hi!

I don't know if it's the imminent full moon, but folks are acting the fool this week and I've got the means to prove it.

Sun Chips

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Unless you've been lodged under a boulder somewhere without cable, you've no doubt heard about the follies involving this young lovely, Patricia Krentcil of Nutley, NJ.

She pleaded innocent because she was charged with putting her badly burned 6-year old in a tanning bed.

She's obviously committed to upholding some sort of  family resemblance. I mean, if you were this woman's daughter, wouldn't you want to be just like her when you grew up?

Now to be fair, this woman is from Jersey, where "Gym, Tan, Laundry" is considered a mantra on par with "Om Shanti." 

There's something to be said for how much crazy is on your cracker when even the likes of Snooki, the high priestess of GTL, thinks you've got a screw loose. "The bitch is crazy," she told Extra. "Everyone knows you are NOT supposed to take kids in there."

Kind people of the interwebs, your thoughts on this highly pressing matter are safe with me.

At Last! A Place To Shit Where You Eat!

Speaking of mantras, remember that old adage, "don't shit where you eat?" It's one of my favorite quotes from Moonstruck and has served as my own personal pearl of wisdom ever since. 

But now I open up a whole new can for you -- literally. It seems the fine folks over in Beijing have found a way to maximize life efficiency, a place where you can put stuff in as you poop stuff out. A restaurant where you can sit on a toilet and eat food served in tiny toilets shaped like poo, just in case you haven't eaten enough shit in your lifetime. Explore the joys for yourself.


And You Can Dance....

Sometimes life brings you lemons so sour, no amount of Splenda can sweeten the juice into a viable beverage. When those bummer moments happen, take three minutes to watch this guy demonstrate a fitness craze that's sure to burn the sidewalks of your fair city any minute now. You're welcome.


Ashton Is Into Role Play

If you're salivating for Demi Moore's sloppy seconds, take a second to lick this tasty morsel. Apparently, Ashton Kutcher has finally found an outlet for all that Method training he's been doing that doubles as a way to fetch some fresh flesh. He wants to be your first, your last, and your EVERYTHING.

Believe it or not, I find him less offensive than the VO with the fake British accent.

R Baby is Your Baby

Finally, this vid is chock full of moms I know and love dearly who have some serious shit to say about the lack of emergency room preparedness for newborn babies. As someone who had to bring her 6 pound, 4 month-old baby in to an emergency room limp with RSV, I was lucky to have gone to an emergency room with provisions for her. But many babies aren't as fortunate and the care they receive is impacted -- sometimes costing them their lives.

So don't be a lame ass who shows indifference at the welfare of teeny, tiny babies. Support the R Baby Foundation by signing their petition today.

That's it for now! Stay gold! xx


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3 Comments

oh, i wish the beijing toilet restaurant had been there when we visited 10 years ago. i would have been willing to eat poo-like soft serve in a NY minute! We were there for only one week and upon my return to the states, several people asked me if i'd lost weight.

OK... so poo-themed restaurant and dance walking = the 3:00 laugh I needed to get me through the rest of the workday. Thank you!

Screw Karaoke, next time, we need that crew to dance walk up and down Smith St. I'm in. I may not sing, but baby, I can dance...

PS. That bitch is crazy, but what do you expect when you live in a place called Nutley!

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