A Rough Draft of the Rapture

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Even with its various inconveniences, heartaches and discomforts, easing into old age looks like it can also be one hell of a good time. 

Having spent all weekend with my mom and aunt, who are in their early 70s, I got to witness the sheer bliss of no longer bequeathing an ever-loving shit about minutiae. Their focus was playing with their grandkids/great nieces and nephews, catching up with us, drinking as many Bloody Marys as they could, and basking in the Brooklyn of it all. It was an absolute blast watching them party like dignified elder rockstar stateswomen the entire time. I hope to follow in their footsteps and build a stealth tolerance to all that annoys the crap out of me, good strong whiskey, and the many substances medical experts will pump in to me to keep me erect and functional. Like Viagra, but for the soul.

Besides, everything that's old is being made new again. It's like a rough draft of the rapture. 

Even old style shoes like these have made a comeback. 

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Seeing as I have old lady feet that break all the time, like right now, this is a bonanza. 

Don't tsk! 

These are super sexy kitten heels for the Nana set! 

And aren't cork heels currently riding the apex of their comeback?

Plus they're silver, and anyone who bejewels their feet in semi-precious metal tones has a tinge of the whore in them somewhere. 

Don't think for a minute that Betty White hasn't gotten full service in these. 


Just because a few things start to give when you've reached a certain age, doesn't mean the parts that are in tact don't need a strong ride once in a while. Check how these lovelies dive right into the Kardashian sex tape. They haven't an eyelash left to bat these sweet bitches, and that's why I like their style. "Two hands and space in between!" Yowza!

Fuck "Golden Girls." "Golden Shower Girls," maybe.

And we should all be as lucky as this next Nana. She decided to jump out of a plane on her 80th birthday (because she's probably bored with shoplifting and goosing sailors) and missed the view on the way down because she was folded up like a lawn chair, clinging to her instructor for dear life after almost falling right out of the harness.


When was the last time YOU said kowabunga? Just 'cause?

Like THIS guy...


The rising balloons said so much!

That's it for now! Stay gold!

xxx



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3 Comments

Does that mean there's a Betty White sex tape for 20 somethings to watch somewhere on the internet?

Reminds me of my family learning about vajazzling at our Passover Seder this year. And no, it wasn't "show and tell".

as always.... Hysterical!

Love the attitude! None of us, God willing, are getting out of it so we might as well have as damned a good time doing it as humanly possible. Rock on Sistah!

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