This week's headline is the PERFECT phrase to sum up what you'll find here. In case you're wondering, "no tea, no shade" means no bullshit. In other words, I will not send you an engraved invitation to bend over, so I can apply Chanel red lipstick and blow perfect Gitane smoke rings up your freshly-bleached, impeccably waxed bunghole. Instead, I promise to spill my truth about pop-culture and nothing but my truth - no offense to any intended, so help me Jennifer Saunders. So here's some of that and a little bit more.
Kim for Mayor
AstVADZim! (Armenian for DEAR LAWD) TMZ is reporting Kim Kardashian is 'seriously considering' becoming mayor of Glendale, CA -- a perfectly pleasant Lost Angeles suburb and hardcore hub for we of the Armo persuasion.
Honey, you a sister and all but the only thing you are qualified to govern is a seminar on giving bj's without getting jizz in your imported, real Indian hair extensions. I can't believe I'm actually going to say this because of its implied ramifications, but please...do us all a favor girl and keep your day job.
TV for the TiVo Impaired
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Before it premiered, the world couldn't shut up about this new Lena Dunham/Judd Apatow HBO show, and the hype almost felt like hypochondria. Seeing as writer/producer/actor lead gal Lena kind of resembles a two-egg collision of myself and my dear friend LoLo, I was instantly committed to seeing this thing happen.
Basically, GIRLS is a cookie-dough raw depiction of post-collegiate, early 20s life, and all of it's uncensored idiocy. Lead girl Hannah, a writer who deems herself "the voice of a generation," is cut off by her parents and forced to fend for her damn self.
Having come through the last recession completely scathed, watching this as someone old enough to be her mother gave me just a little (meno)pause. The sexual/professional exploitation shit really hasn't changed much, and that's what makes a show like this relevant and relatable for anyone. Humiliating interperson-play happens to each of us everyday, no matter how old you are.
But, with respect to the plot, I found it tough to scale the humongous generation gap. Kids today actually expect their parents to support them until they land on their professional path. This was too far a cry from my socioeconomic background. Not that I expect the creator (the daughter of a famous artist) or the actors (the daughters of famous playwrights, rock stars and America's funniest anchorman) to totally get what it's like to REALLY have to fend for your damn self. The 24-year old me would've dope slapped the shit out of the lead, Hannah, had I heard her cry into her $2 PBR. Asking your parents to sustain you for another two years for $1100 a month? As a 24-year old? Try being cut off at 19 and having to pay for your education by temp filing in suburban office parks. Seriously, a small infusion of a more diverse reality wouldn't hurt nobody none. Let's see what the season brings.
Here's a preview if you've yet to have seen it.
Brouhaha Of The Week
Secretary of State Hilary Clinton came under fire this week for breathing life into her inner party animal on a trip to Columbia, where girlfriend had the nerve to get down on the dance floor and swill a lil' brew.
So....this is an actual issue? Show me a picture of her with snow dust flakes around her nostrils, some lines of Columbia's finest across a table and a rolled up fifty and then MAYBE you'll get a raised eyebrow out of me. Let's get real. The woman is married to BILL CLINTON. You need a Ph.D in party to keep up with that guy. You don't think she can negotiate international peace treaties AND throw one back? What kind of bullshit double standard is that?
Apparently, Republicans feel it's okay for former President George W. Bush to admit to snorting line upon line of coke for years upon years, yet Hilly sips for a fucking BREW and it's an issue? Shut the fuck up and Hils, help yourself to the next five on me.
That's it for now, chilruns! Stay gold!