Happy Almost Halloween! The air is crisp, my feet are cold. My brain is crisp, I'm getting old.
So let's get to it, do it:
The "No Shit, Sherlock" Of The Week
Just wrote this for MomLogic:
Are you sitting down? Prepare for a shocker.
Baby Einstein was brought to task in front of The Federal Trade Commission by for what The Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood describes as "engaging in deceptive acts and practices."
The result? You can get a refund on up to four DVD's by sending them back, or a coupon for some other Baby Einstein product. Here's a slice of the claim:
"The American Academy of Pediatrics ("AAP") recommends "no screen time" for children under age two, including television or videos promoted for that age group. Despite this recommendation, companies have aggressively marketed videos for children under two, making over one billion dollars from the sales of these videos. Companies such as Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby have capitalized on parents' desires to give their very young children a leg up on learning and development by deceptively and falsely marketing their videos as educational and beneficial for infant development. For example, Baby Einstein claims that with its Baby da Vinci video, 'your child will learn to identify her different body parts, and also discover her five senses... in Spanish, English, and French!' The claims are deceptive because no research or evidence exists to support Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby's claims that their videos are educational or beneficial for very young children. In fact, preliminary research suggests that television is a poor tool for educating very young children. They are false because research indicates that television viewing by children under three negatively affects cognitive development.'
So THAT'S why my kid stands there drooling each time these DVD's are on! They halt all active brain waves! See, with Einstein himself endorsing the product, I believed it was required to make the synapses in my baby's brain fire faster and thus get him/her into a first rate, Ivy League university. And all I'd have to do to achieve this outcome is press "play" on the DVD remote.
I mean, really. The balls of these people! How dare they offer us a product that doesn't literally do what it claims? I guess I'm the real idiot. Here I was, thinking the subliminal crack in these DVD's gave my kid a leg up while I took a shower in peace.
Feeling jypped out of a free ride to Harvard? Look on the bright side. Your refund of $13-$15 per DVD (with a limit of 4) is nothing compared how much you'll save when your kid only gets into a second-tier community college.
A Hymn For TJ's
This is exactly how I feel each time I walk into Trader Joe's:
Many thanks to @kayhanley, who shared this sweet lil' nugget on Facebook.
And many thanks to my old pal and editor Joe Bonni (Twitter ID unknown), who shared this delicious moment of surrealism that is sure to brighten your day...
Toking on Lawrence Welk? Sweet Jebus!
Fat Dead Guy In A Little Coat
Last but not least on this round of wrongs, have you gotten a load of these ads for Direct TV where a live actor communes with an actor who's passed onto the next dimension? They didn't phase me until the playoffs last night, when this one featuring a seance between David Spade and Chris Farley came on.
WHOA. Weren't they BFF? What would drive someone to capitalize on a friendship posthumously? Just sayin'...*cough* WHOR! *cough*
Until next time someone does something really stupid...
The Mad Mom
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