10 Reasons to Be Glad You're Not a Celebrity Mom
1. Minimal pressure to squeeze postpartum body into spangled leotard to appear on Dancing With the Stars
2. Can salvage errant chicken-nugget scraps off kid's plates without being reprimanded by nanny, husband, agent, or publicist.
3. Time saved pondering the significance of naming your offspring after an animal, vegetable, mineral, or automobile.
4. Never having to explain why Mommy is kissing that man on TV, bit really loves only Daddy.
5. Little need to come up with a creative excuse for declining mom's weekend at the hottest colonic-irrigation spa.
6. Blowout and full makeup before PTA meetings or errands are strictly optional.
7. Diaper bag not filled with pesky pre-playdate confidentiality agreements, leaving room for thermos of vital caffeinated/spiked liquids.
8. Money saved not needing to outfit child daily in a brand-new Burberry jumper (or the secure matching, mom-size ensemble).
9. No desperate hunt for birthday-party favors that can wow even Suri and Shiloh.
10. Can forsake Jimmy Choos and Manolos for the comfort of clogs, Crocs, and flip-flops.
Illustrations by Greg Clarke