Sitting Here in Limbo
What to do when you're trying to land a new job — but haven't left your old one yet.
We've all been there. The raised eyebrows of co-workers as you show up to work in a suit. The quick scan for feet in the restroom before placing a furtive follow-up call. The pulse-boosting anxiety of watching your lunch hour become two in the middle of an interview.
You're stuck in a nerve-wracking place called employment limbo — and it isn't pretty.
"It took about a month from the time I started interviewing until I gave notice, and it was the longest month of my life," says Alex Manoogian, a network engineer who left his job after 12 years for a new opportunity with more growth potential.
"I'd been at my job so long that every time I walked through the doors after an interview, it felt like a walk of shame."
Toby Spinks, a Web architect who lives in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, found himself in the throes of employment limbo when he was looking to leave his last position.
"At times, I felt like I was stuck in slow-mo," he relates. "Finding a new gig seemed to take forever, and it was getting harder and harder to justify being at work every day."
There are three main phases of employment limbo, each with its unique set of challenges.
Phase I: The Big Decision
You've decided the time has come to move on - now the challenge lies in staying the course. The prospect of intense change can fire up the old "devil you know" adage, inducing second thoughts that can plague your progress.
"As soon as I decided to leave, I got nostalgic," sighs Manoogian. "It felt like I was biting the hand that fed me. It was confusing."
But there's an upside to this period, says Doug Hardy, the general manager of the publishing program for the career development Web site monster.com, and editor of the "Monster Careers" book series. He believes employment limbo can be a very productive transition - given the right attitude.
"The most toxic feeling is the feeling of being stuck with no prospects in sight," says Hardy. "But no one else is going to establish a momentum of improvement but you. Employment limbo is the perfect time to re-evaluate your career and put the focus back on your professional life."
Spinks put the focus back on his career by honing in on his long-term goals.
"I was able to pull back and tell myself that my leaving was a positive step in my career. It became less about my job and more about my future. So I got to a place where it was easier to say, 'I'm outtie.'"
Manoogian went through a similar period of reflection before moving forward.
"I had to think of my career," he muses. "I didn't want to be like Sam the Butcher, in the same job for 30 years with no growth to show for it. I needed an opportunity that allowed me to grow beyond where I was."
Phase II: The Waiting
Eventually the time comes when a potential employer shows serious interest and makes a verbal offer - but it can still take a few weeks before the deal is sealed. At that point, showing up to work each day can be an excruciating exercise in sheer willpower.
"It took a while to get my offer letter, and I started to feel like I was being passed on parole," says Manoogian. "Getting up to go in each morning became harder and harder. I managed to pull through all right, but that in-between stage felt like forever."
"Before my offer letter came I was frustrated, and it was hard not to let it affect my productivity," admits Spinks. "I found myself doing little things to pass the time, like taking longer bathroom breaks. It was really hard to focus in meetings."
Karen Salmansohn, a Manhattan career coach and the author of "Ballsy: 99 Ways to Score Extreme Business Success," says one way to stay positive and productive through this phase is to work on improving all those annoying little work habits you've managed to accumulate.
"It's a great time to learn lessons, so you aren't setting yourself up for a professional 'Groundhog Day,'" she says. "You'll know you're making progress in your career when you make new mistakes - not old ones."
Suggests Hardy: "Think of this transition as a project to manage. Ask yourself - for as long as I'm stuck here, what can I get out of this? It's a unique opportunity to change behaviors you might not love about yourself and don't want to bring to the next job. It's also a good opportunity to develop new job skills."
Phase III: The Exit
Congrats! You finally got a job offer in your hot little hands and gave notice of your impending departure. So how do you stay (at least outwardly) motivated and resist the temptation to slack while you are on borrowed time?
Leaving a job is a lot like breaking up with someone. Even if you harbor less-than-savory-feelings for your current employer, it's important to realize that the way you leave them in these last weeks is the impression they will carry of you for the duration of your career.
"Your last impression is every bit as important as your first," says Salmansohn. "If a movie is good but the ending is bad, all anyone remembers is the ending."
Manoogian says his loyalty to his co-workers gave him the motivation he needed to stay on the up-and-up until the time came to walk out.
"When you are at a job for 12 years, you work with people who become like family, so I couldn't go out like a schmuck," he says. "My managers had given me lots of opportunity over the years, so I couldn't just hang it up, much as I might have wanted to. Besides, I take pride in my work ethic. So I actually did do work to make it easier to hand over my responsibilities."
During Spinks' last two weeks, he mustered up enough gusto to compose a comprehensive hand-off strategy that eased the transition for his employer.
"I worked independently, so I thought carefully about where things stood in my department and offered my employers a very detailed book of next steps that would make the transition of my responsibilities a lot easier," he says. "They seemed really pleased with it, and that pleased me."
Buh-bye!
In the days before leaving, Hardy says it's OK to go ahead and take that two-hour lunch, as long as you use the time to accumulate your co-workers' personal contact information.
"One of the main assets you can take with you when you leave is your network of co-workers," he stresses. "A solid professional network can be a huge asset in your new job. You never know who you can help - or who can help you in the future."
So if you find yourself suffering through the stages of employment limbo, hang in there. Smile your secret smile, keep at the search, and know that it's just a matter of time before you're on to greener pastures.
RULES OF THE ROAD...
LOOKING for a new gig while toiling away at your current one? These pointers will help you keep your job search your business.
DO
- Schedule interviews after hours. Prospective employers will respect the way you respect your current employer.
- Show up on time to the job you do have.
- Swap contact information with co-workers.
- Delete all mp3s and e-mail related to your job search.
DON'T
- Feel like you need to explain yourself. Your career is your business.
- Use company voice mail, computer or postage for your job search and think nobody will catch on.
- Ignore current clients, customers or vendors - they might be great contacts in your next venture.
- Forget to roll over your 401(K). Take your money with you!